An update

Sadly, I have been moved to a private office and the main sources of content for this blog cannot be heard from where I sit.  I will continue to try and overhear things in the office, but this may be the death knell for my humble little blog.  Alas, poor blogger and such.

Everyone loves cankles

"We should add cankles to the system.  It's importation to make notes about those."

You know, that thing with the thing

"Oh wait, I have that purple thing in there!"

Violence is Never the Answer

"But I probably would hit him.  A couple of times.  With a baseball bat.  Covered in more herpes.  HERPES ON YO' FACE!"

What?

"Hide it."  
"What?" 
"Hide it." 
"You hit it?" 
"HIDE it." 
"What did you hit?" 
"HIDE IT!!!!"

Spirit Animals

"You know those fuzzy bear hats with the long paws? She would come in and be all be all, 'These are my spirit animal hats...'"

Handbags

"Why would you want your handbag to look like a Cheeto?"

Names might matter. A little.

"At least Beyonce is a good person." 
"Really?  What's her child's name?"  
"The child's name doesn't matter!"

The Icing on Your Cake

"Mm...that cream cheese icing is pretty good.  Good and creamy, like creamy cheese."

All kinds of crazy

"See, I know we have crazy in this state as well.  It's a nice little mountain crazy.  Out there they have a whole other scary set of swamp crazy, and it puts our crazy to shame."